At Last
by DreamingOfAFairytale
Summary: Gibbs can't do it
1. Chapter 1

It was going to happen. The way he was looking in her eyes, pupils dialated. It'd been a year since the bourbon fiasco, and now they were stood in his living room inches apart, breathing heavily, and it was going to happen.

Until his eyes dropped away from hers, and he stepped back. A minute shake of the head, as if trying to rid his brain of the fog.

"I'm sorry Jack." He sounded defeated.

She released the breath she'd been holding. The disappointment written over her face. Somewhere in the time between him stepping back and saying sorry she'd starting wringing her hands together. The dread sitting in the pit of her stomach. How quickly her emotions could change.

The corner of her mouth twisting up on one side, not quite forming a smile, "What for? Not like you did anything." Her tone was flat even to her ears, it sounded strange.

"I can't, 'm sorry, but I can't." He finally lifted his gaze. Flinching as he recognised the expression on her face for what it was, pain and disappointment.

She straightened up, her wall rebuilding itself as she did, "You can't what?"

"I can't," he exhaled harshly, "I can't do this, me and you, I can't do it."

The words hit straight into her, she almost recoiled as if she'd been burnt, but she wouldn't let him see her vulnerable. Not again, not after this.

"I'm gonna go, take care of yourself." She turned as quickly as she could and walked out the door. She got into her car and drove away. When she thinks back later she won't be able to remember how she got home, just that she'd got back and dropped straight into her bed. The dark and emptiness taking over her as she fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

It'd been three weeks. Three weeks since he'd told her he couldn't do it. Three weeks since they'd last spoken outside of work. He had to credit her, you wouldn't know he'd let her down that night. Ever the consummate professional she was. She was polite, friendly even, but she was his Sloane. _Wait. _Did he just call her, no, that was a mistake. Not his. Never his. At least not now anyway.

He rarely ever slept, but the last few weeks had been even worse for him. The nightmares plagued him. Nightmares of her. Bleeding on the floor. Dying in an explosion. A bullet to the head. He couldn't tell her because he'd broken her. That smile she used to give him. The one she still tries to give him. It doesn't reach her eyes anymore. They're guarded and pained. He did that to her, and he doesn't know how to fix it. How to help them both, fix her heart and stop his sleepless nights.

He's been snapping at the team more recently. There's been even more complaints than normal about his behaviour and attitude. Leon stopped him working on joint cases 2 days ago, which caused a shouting match his ex wives would be proud of.

Now he's sat at a bar, Grace next to him watching him throw back yet another drink, "Why ya here doc?"

"You know why. Stop being an idiot and talk Popeye or I'm leaving and you're losing your ride." She arched a brow at him, daring him to push.

"I screwed up. Don't know how to fix it." Another bourbon, this time he picks it up, examines it.

"Then work on fixing it Popeye. It's not mine or anyone else's job to sort out your mess. You screwed up, you fix it. A little tip though, I'd start by apologising, it usually helps. Now move it, I've got other things to do and better people to see!"

He grunted as he stood. Not best pleased about being told what to do, especially after the last couple days. His head swimming a little as he did. The bourbon hitting him harder than usual.

The next day at work he was even more of a bear. His head pounding as he'd continued to drink until he fell asleep, plagued by nightmares once again. He could hear Bishop approach before she spoke, "Uh, Gibbs? Did Jack give you back the profile for the Maunder case yet? McGee and me are going out to question the father. Be useful to have something to take with us."

"Why would I have it Bishop?" He snapped.

She stepped back startled, "Sorry, stupid question." With that she turned and left grabbing her stuff as quickly as she could.

Half an hour later after he thought she'd gone on lunch, because she usually left around 2 if she remembered, he walked up to his office. Hoping to find the file that Bishop has asked him about. Maybe he could make it up to her without saying the word. Couldn't keep breaking rules after all. He opened the door without even thinking and his stomach dropped. Her head lifted and the smile that was just about to form drifted away very slowly.

"Special Agent Gibbs, how may I help you?" Her tone was light and cheery, but it wasn't warm.

"Jus' looking for a file Bishop wanted. Something to do with the Maunder case." He mumbled in her direction.

"Ah, yeah. You'll have to tell her I'm sorry for being so long. The fathers and interesting one. Would have loved to have interviewed him to get a real read." She picked up the file from her desk and handed it over.

"Why couldn't you interview him?"

"Major break on a case with the sex crimes division. Out into the field later to bring the suspect in. Turns out he's not just a one off rapist. They've positively linked him to several assaults aboard navy ships in the last 8 months." She felt relieved to have the work buffer. It was easy to talk about work. Easy to pretend she didn't feel hurt all over again every time she saw his face.

"Yeah. Good luck, and thanks." He waved the file in the air to make his point before making a hasty exit.


	3. Chapter 3

He'd got the call at 22:37. Ducky had told him what had happened. She'd been shot, he couldn't remember much more than that as the fear gripped his chest. Ice running through his veins.

"Jethro? Are you still there? JETHRO!" Ducky's voice brought him back.

"Where?" His voice cracked as he felt his throat constricted, "Where is she?"

"I'll send you the address. She's in surgery." The dead dial tone coming through the phone told him that Gibbs had already ended the call.

He'd barged through the doors to the hospital, not caring who was in the way. Ducky had not only told him which hospital it was, but which floor and section they were in. More to save the nurses and doctors from one Leroy Jethro Gibbs' wrath.

He'd found Ducky in the waiting room, sat calmly, the way only he could. He stood as he saw Gibbs walk through the doors to the waiting area. "Where's everyone else? Leon?"

"You were the first person I called. The Director knows, but he has conferences and red tape to deal with Jethro. The whole thing went terribly wrong. There were fatalities too. Jacqueline saved quite a few lives today." He responded, a glimmer of pride in his face.

"How long has she been in there?" Ducky motioned for Gibbs to take a seat before he would answer.

"A couple of hours I believe. The Director called me and asked if I would wait with her and inform the team. He knew you'd all want to be here."

It was now 01:03. He knew because he couldn't stop checking his watch. The rest of the team had arrived in drabs around half an hour after he'd got there. Bishop and Torres had fallen asleep. Gibbs had sent McGee and Palmer home to their wives and kids half an hour ago. Vance had finally gotten to the hospital at around quarter to one. Ducky was now sat retelling stories of his past to Vance whilst Gibbs sat silently.

Silence broke out in the waiting room as the nurse approached. She looked tired. The remaining members of the team stood up waiting for the news they were about to receive.

The nurse exhaled, "Shes currently stable. We lost her a few times in the operating room due to the blood loss, but we're feeling very positive. She seems to be a fighter."

"That she is my dear. I don't suppose she's allowed visitors?" Ducky asked of her.

"Give us 20 minutes to get everything set up and you can go in." She smiled in response.

Bishop and Torres had awoken with all the noise going on. They were whispering to each other where they'd been sat. "Boss, I'm gonna take Bishop home. Now we know Sloane is stable. We'll be back first thing in the morning. She probably wouldn't want us all in there anyway!"

"If she wakes up let her know we'll be back as soon as we can." Bishop's eyes were glassy from the mix of sleep and what could only be described as relief.

"You've got the day tomorrow, the case can wait." Vance looked across to Gibbs, almost daring him to challenge the order. Torres nodded in acceptance. He wasn't about to argue with a day off, especially after the night they'd had.

The three of them that were remaining made their way to the room the nurse had specified before she'd left. Vance and Ducky had taken turns going into the room to see her. She wasn't awake, but for peace of mind they needed to see her. To make sure that what they'd been told was true, that she was stable so that when the two men went home they'd possibly be able to get some sleep.

After they'd both said their goodbyes to Gibbs the two men left to go home. He was now stood outside the hospital room. Lost and not in control. He knew to get that control back he'd have to step into that room and start to fix things. It would be a long journey, but he would fix it if it was the last thing he did, because the feat he'd felt when he got that phone call made him realise he could do this.


End file.
